Hearing person dating a deaf person
He would come every day to my job, bringing me love notes and small gifts. We got married in Jamaica on Christmas Eve, a year and a month after meeting. Not yet knowing the signs for "Honor" and "Obey", I sorta flapped my hands around. Well, I couldn't understand him when he signed with other Deaf people. The most surprising thing was Deaf people didn't seem to care what color I was..were more interested in the fact that I was hearing.
I finished Level I, took it again as well as Levels II and III. I went to the local community college and took the interpreter courses - a three year program that took five years at night. Deaf people sometimes are surprised I'm hearing, but many of them know me by now. I noticed my then boyfriend would sign, "This is my girlfriend. She's hearing." And somehow that part...."She's hearing" was the kicker. I didn't know that it's a fairly rare occurrence for deaf-hearing relationships to work.
I’m not going to write back and forth for the rest of my life.
I’ll give the hearing person a chance to start picking up signs in the beginning of a relationship while we start getting to know each other over messaging systems (text/chat).
“I know enough ASL to carry on a decent conversation with a patient deaf signer, and I would quickly improve if I used it more …
I worked for the FDIC and we had closed a bank that had been one of the first Black-owned banks in the country - Freedom National Bank. I told a coworker whom I had gotten friendly with while on the road to call me anytime...Other races assume we are together if we are standing together. Suddenly, he blurts out, "Yeah, and not to mention dealing with the interracial thing! Once he noticed the cats' ears flicker and figured it out and the second time I had to go to the neighbor's and call the relay service to call him on the TTY (TDD) that I was standing outside banging on the doors and windows.Sometimes people think I am his nurse who has escorted him from the home somewhere, making sure he's not drooling on himself in public. " Not missing a beat, I respond, "Well we haven't gotten to that yet. " The differences in our relationship, I've had to work on more. I think my husband's got it so good, he doesn't think about it. But my advice is 'tis better to have a deaf-centric one than a hearing-centric relationship. It's just that the deafness compounds this age-old argument between women and men. Another time, he locked the screen door while in the backyard.So if I were to date a deaf person, I would probably have to develop a relationship online or through text.
If we clicked there I would feel compelled to learn to sign.” Meghan is a 30-something hearing mother and wife who signs said she would date deaf people and wouldn’t expect them to sign.Meanwhile within the Deaf community there is “an outspoken preference for deafness when dating is not kept secretive”.Ashlea Hayes is a deaf woman still learning how to navigate dating in a world for hearing people.And, like I like to say, I knew enough to know how to ask him if he was married or had a girlfriend.