Friendship dating love
Emotions aren’t switches that get flipped on and off.
The old saying is that it takes half the length of the relationship to get over the relationship.
Jerry Seinfeld wisely observed that breaking up with someone was like trying to tip over a soda machine. The logic usually goes, ‘I do like her as a person. The ever present danger for these types of friendships is a backslide.
Once it is moving and unstable, only then you can push it over. It is difficult to tell another person, ‘I don’t want a romantic relationship with you.’ Hearing it from someone else is clearly worse. From an intellectual level remaining friends may seem like a good idea. If both individuals are emotionally mature, and completely lacking in romantic feelings for each other, then a jump straight to the friend zone might be possible. Mutual breakups are usually not mutual, and the breakee is holding on to some strong romantic desires.
If after that period of time, you still want to create a friendship with your old flame, you can start doing the groundwork—but tread carefully. This nature of attraction must always be kept in mind and respected. Opposite sex friends need clear boundaries—especially if they are involved in romantic relationships with other people.
Let’s say you wait six months and now you’re ready to approach staying friends after a relationship ends. Group of Friends Attending a Football Game, 12pm – Low Risk 2. There are things about your interaction that need to change if you’re going to be friends.
You can’t meet someone new because your old love is still in your life—hanging around being your pal and reminding you how great they are.
If you have any sort of hope left in your heart (and be honest)—don’t wonder ‘should I stay friends with an ex’ and instead, strategize how you’re going to move forward.
That means six months without phone calls, emails, and ‘how you doing? It’s six months where you are completely out of each other’s lives so that new relationships and new feelings can grow. You may attend a 30-year high school reunion, see an old boyfriend, and have the same giddy feeling you did as a 16-year old. Part of considering ‘should I stay friends with an ex’ is figuring out if you can see them in a new light.
So if you’re asking ‘should I stay friends with my ex’?