First email dating tips
We analyzed over 500,000 first contacts on our dating site, Ok Cupid.
Our program looked at keywords and phrases, how they affected reply rates, and what trends were statistically significant.
Yours, Evan Every line of this message can be thrown out. Because anyone whom you contact knows by virtue of you writing to them that a) you liked their profile, b) you liked their photo and c) you’d like a reply. That, my friends, is what separates the most successful online daters from the rest of the pack. In this case, I’ve written them for men replying to women, but the steps are applicable to everyone: Every word of it.
Remember, that’s why she wrote it – because she wants you to get to know her, not because she wants to be told for the umpteenth time that she’s hot. NOT the thing you like the most, NOT the thing you find most attractive, NOT the thing you have in common. It might be how she doesn’t know how to program her Ti Vo. Yes, you think it’s cool that she also likes Robert De Niro movies and skiing in Vail. The sillier and more over-the-top your email, the funnier it’ll be.
————————————————————Of all the things that clients (especially men) ask me to help them with, the most common query involves assistance with writing introductory emails.
After all, most people’s profiles don’t exactly give you a ton of material to work with, do they? Ask yourself if what you’re writing sounds completely original.
As we all know, people normally like compliments, but when they’re used as pick-up lines, before you’ve even met in person, they inevitably feel…ew.
Besides, when you tell a woman she’s beautiful, chances are you’re not.
So, in short, it’s okay to laugh, but keep the rest of your message grammatical and punctuated.We know that’s going to piss a lot of people off, and we’re more or less tongue-in-cheek with this advice, but it’s what the numbers say.does help a person get noticed (reply rate 56%), but maybe that shouldn’t be a surprise on a site that is itself named for a member of the Classical pantheon.The result: a set of rules for what you should and shouldn’t say when introducing yourself. Let’s go: Netspeak, bad grammar, and bad spelling are huge turn-offs.
Our negative correlation list is a fool’s lexicon: was also a successful word, but much less so (33%).No one at Ok Cupid read any actual user messages to compile this post.Here’s a new article which I wrote as a special to Yahoo! And while I never write emails for others, the request makes perfect sense.So how do you cobble together something from a pile of nothing? If not, the person you’re contacting probably has 10 emails just like yours sitting on the computer screen. Even though you’re writing to someone out of the blue, do so with the belief that this person would be lucky to have you. Your profile ultimately does the selling; your email just has to pique their interest.